Add these to your list of signs that you’re getting old:
- Your ears perk up at a laxative commercial on TV.
- When you do the Hokey Pokey and you put your left hip out, it stays out.
- One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
- You don’t have enemies because you’ve outlived them all.
- You don’t date women your own age because there aren’t any.
- “Happy hour” now consists of a nap.
- You remember what you did yesterday by what hurts today.
- Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep.
- You find yourself giving good advice instead of setting a bad example.
- The candles cost more than the cake.
- The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
- You realize that whatever Mother Nature gave you, Father Time has taken away.
Some good things about growing old:
Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.
Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.
“You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.
Think really hard on this one.
Gary